The Pokédex will let you know that Magikarp are “worthless,” “weak,” and “pathetic.” But what does the Pokédex know, actually? That factor was most likely written by 12-year-olds. I refuse to consider my orange flopper is a waste of area with no inherent worth. I can show it, too — however not with some flashy show of Magikarp’s battle prowess. What are we, barbarians?
No. Instead, I am right here to plead Magikarp’s case by exhibiting you the way effectively our fish boy performs throughout the confines of capitalism.
Last week, I began playing around with Pokémon Sword and Shield’s Poké Jobs characteristic, the place corporations will submit listings of duties they want to get executed. For instance, a garments retailer would possibly ask for fighting-type Pokémon to assist them show their wares are sturdy, or a supply service would possibly ask for flying-type Pokémon to full shipments. Some of the asks are weird: Once, I had a taxi service request Dark-type Pokémon as a result of they needed passengers to “reveal their true nature.” Uh, positive.
While the characteristic is totally non-obligatory and comparatively small subsequent to issues just like the Wild Area, the flavour textual content does an amazing job of illustrating how a society stuffed with particular creatures would possibly truly work. Even so, I was curious to see how far I may push Poké Jobs. There had been a number of occasions when I sent a Pokémon that I thought was well-suited for the project, solely to get a report again telling me that I ought to make a better option subsequent time. Once, for example, I sent a Growlithe to do a job involving hearth, and whereas my pup technically accomplished the duty, I was instructed that Growlithe struggled.
I do not know how Poké Jobs calculates effectivity right here — is it associated to the extent, for example? Can a monster’s temperament affect the result? But after some misfires, I was curious to see how far I may push issues. What if I deliberately sent a slipshod creature to do work? And so I set off with a fishing rod to the close by river, the place I captured some contemporary Magikarp for my experiment.
The first job I sent them out on was for Surf Shipping, which needed water-type Pokémon to carry cargo over our bodies of water. The icon confirmed a Lapras, dutifully carrying an enormous load. So in fact I sent three Magikarp to do it. I gave them the entire day — they’d most likely want it, provided that there’s no simple means for a Magikarp to, uh, maintain something.
To my shock, my three friends got here again with prime marks.
Actually, I was instructed that my consumer was “happier than they’ve ever been” with the assistance of my Pokémon. As a prize, not solely did my golden boys obtain additional expertise factors, one in every of them even gifted me a loaf of bread. (???)
Was this only a fluke? Was it potential that Magikarp may, in truth, contribute one thing significant to society? Unsure of what to consider, I sought out one other check for my aquatic mates. This time, I sent the lot with Yoshida’s Coffee, an outfit that was on the lookout for water-type help with their brews. “I’d like Pokémon that are knowledgeable about such things,” the itemizing stated.
And so, off they went for an entire day, apparently on a mission to assist a store choose the very best liquid for his or her drinks. Surely, I thought to myself, Magikarp can’t presumably have the talents of a barista? How would that even work?
To my shock, my trio defied my skepticism and as soon as once more did an amazing job. Don’t ask me how, or why. But my Magikarp did it. I gained a second loaf of bread for my troubles. It was virtually as if my Magikarp had been telling me to eat it, actually.
Now I come to you, pricey reader, with a plea: Do not underestimate the prowess of the mighty Magikarp. They can defeat champions, positive. But extra importantly, they will clock in on time and put in an sincere day’s work.